so a month later.

i have decided to go back to jill’s saturday class.

after doing so many makeups… being in so many different classes… i felt like goldilocks. this one, the girls are too stuck up. this one, the teacher isn’t advanced enough with the pole. this one, the warmup feels militant. this one, the girls don’t dance in a way that is inspiring to me. this one, the teacher’s EC doesn’t inspire me. i realized that a lot of what i missed was feeling like the teacher knew me, knew where i was coming from, where i had been, how much i had grown. going back to jill’s other classes and doing makeups, i felt that from her. i wonder if i could ever feel that with another teacher– if i would ever stay in another class long enough to eventually feel that way?

i’m not operating under any illusions here. i know that she’s not a perfect teacher, and i think still that she treats me a little colder than other people. i think that her taste is music is not quite mine; i think that she is a little kooky and out there sometimes. but i’ve tried so many other teachers, and i’m sick of not having a home. and i know the girls in her class, and i know they are good people, who are glad to see me and who are kind and nice and sweet.

we will see what happens.

after class 7/8/08

this was week 2 of sultry but another makeup for me. first official class is still not until friday.

soooo remember the alamo meant a lot of crappy country music. really i think that is the only genre of music that i intensely dislike. i remember near the end of class i was putting stuff in my bag and two girls sitting on the bench together said to each other: wow, i really heard a bunch of songs that i liked! yeah, country’s not so bad! i will have go home and look up more songs like this!

gag. gag! seriously? it’s like when i log into the forum sometimes and after an assignment that i hated, people are going, yeah it was such a good learning experience! well, yes, sometimes it is, and sometimes you learn that your EC HATED IT. mermaid was like that. this was like that. i didn’t even do the assignment for my dance, but doing backup dances to music that iddn’t move me at all was just painful. it felt like a waste of money. maybe i will just sign out of that class next week because honest to god i just cannot handle country music.

is that bratty? i dont really care. it may be being a “bad sport” but it just doesn’t work for me. i tried it.

anyway. i had beth for a teacher today. who is the other TT mentor for NYC, tina being one as well. beth is great– she has a lot of the same energy that tina does but her class seemed to all get along really well. it might honestly be studio B. it’s jsut smaller and more personal in there than it is in A. i will have to take another make up with her some other time to test my theory.

warmup was good. i had a little trouble easing in today. learned the snake dive- handstand- split off and it HURTS. will have to try again at home or using a different position… i basically squished the hell out of my pubic bone and had to abort. it doesn’t seem like a trick i will be doing in flow, but then again– i said the same thing about layout once upon a time. open mindedness is the goal. except with country music.

picked “let it rain” by keri noble. couldn’t quite connect to the emotion of the song, but i did find a home in the feeling of it. i think that i am able to make more of the movements mine. changing them to fit who my EC is now and what she wants to feel. not just a regular cat pounce, up and down– throw in a little bit of an angled push back up, like a rocking cat, with pants on that allow my knees to just glide into cat pounce hip circles into a side goddess. it feels delicious. and it feels like me.

beth said i was feline. which is funny, i’ve gotten that before– i am curious to see my dance. but, not that curious. i will not be taping any time soon but i think that the BF may be getting a dance soon… =) she also asked me if i had danced to that song before– i have no idea why? it’s funny i was listening to it again just now and i realized that i don’t recognize the second half of the song. i danced to it but i wasn’t hearing it.

at the end of class, we had a couple of all-swims. beth picked lucinda williams- “i just wanna make love to you” for my groups’ second dance. and it felt good. afterwards i asked beth if she remembered talking to me about TT questions with tina… and she did. she had been trying to place my face during class.

i asked her if she had any advice for me. she said she tought i would do really well, that i had a great dance and movement. she said that it was good that i wasn’t too far progressed into my EC… that my movements were still recognizable into the chunks we are taught in class. i’m guessing she meant that when you are teaching L1… you need to be able to “showcase” the moves. sometimes if you watch a girl who is IN IT… like a house girl who can REALLY dance… you can tell that she’s not using any S moves any more. it’s all like… her own. it was kind of a backhanded compliment. like, she said my movement is “clean” and beautiful but she was also basically saying that my EC hasn’t truly come out yet. more food for thought i suppose. i have no idea what i look like and i know i have a long way to go towards what i could be. so, i will take it constructively.

after class 7/3/08

signed up for a makeup with jill for week 1 of this new session. fourth of july– which would be my week 1 class with ro– falls on a friday, which means the studio is closed and therefore no official class for me until next week. i figured it would be nice to get a class or two under my belt before assessment to build my confidence back up. so i did.

had class with jill today after about 5 months away from her. it was awkward, which i expected, but i hope that she realized that my effort in seeing her for a makeup meant that i really didn’t want her to have any hard feelings. i don’t know if she really did take it personally, me and amanda transferring out, or not, but i felt a vibe that i didn’t like. i hope that she understands that i really do miss her, and that i am so greatful to her for everything that she gave me. having taken all those makeups has really shown me how lucky we were to have her. more than any other teacher, except maybe alex, she gives of herself emotionally to her class. you can feel how much she wants us all to love this experience, how much she wants us all to feel secure enough to open up.

one of the girls in her class asked me, “are you on youtube?” she put together that my name was amy, and that i am an S girl, and she had seen my youtube videos. she gushed at me. i felt totally dumbfounded. i didn’t know how to respond at all. i didn’t realize so many people watched them? she said, “you havent posted for a while!” and i said, well, yes, i’ve been focusing on my dance and not my tricks. i mean really– the tricks still don’t interest me much, although i try to make them matter more. i am still having too much fun exploring the vulnerable side of me, that emotional side.

the class was a L4. they were just starting with the improv. they were a great class- it seems all of her classes have fun with each other. they really appreciate each other. she does a great job of fostering that in her groups. which is really admirable.

at the beginning we went around the room and said what we wanted to get out of this session. she outed me when it was my turn– proclaimed me a “repeat 6″ which felt strange and kind of exhilirating. like, yeah, that’s right, i am a repeat 6! how time flies. and what i said was: “i want to give myself permission.” that was all. and she got me. she totally felt me and started talking to her class about how that was important to do– to stop judging yourself. oh it felt good, jill and i, that connection. to have someone know what you mean truly.

this week was a good dance. i stil got it! haha. did a song by susie suh- “all i want”– slow piano with angsty vocals. started in the fetal position and i just felt the tears come at the very beginning. there was one point where i crawled to the pole and did a corkscrew get-up and it felt amazing. exactly what i wanted to be doing with my body to express what i was feeling– a soaring, lilting freedom, joy.

afterwards the class was strangely quiet. one girl said, “that was beautiful.” i wonder if they didn’t get what i had just done: thrown my heart at their feet. maybe they couldn’t see it? maybe it wasn’t as clear as i thought it was, where i was emotionally? it was like that in lucy’s class as well when i did a makeup. it was like they were stunned… or just completely disinterested. except the one girl who said “beautiful” in each class. i guess as long as i get me, i need to get used to it. to not having the positive reinforcement from others. i can’t let others’ reactions take away from what i feel.

jill came up to me and the words she said made sense to me for the first time in a long time. i think she udnerstood where i was coming from. she said she saw the vulnerability. she saw that i did give myself that permission. that was so great. her eyes teared up and she said to me, like a parent, who sees what journey that their child is on, knows from personal experience what is coming next: she said, “when you get to a point where you don’t see where to go, just push through the vulnerability, the frustration, the anger, whatever it is, let it guide you and use it for yourself…” and i nodded, and i said i understood, but i know htat only when i actually get to that point will those words come back like an echo. i’m not there yet, but i know i will be, i know that these steps that i take now bring me to a better place, a more honest place, every time i dance.

when i was leaving and getting dressed jill poked her head into the locker room and gave me a couple words of advice about TT assessment. a girl turned to me and said, “oh you’re going to be a teacher?” and i was taken aback, again, almost put off at how blase she sounded, as though it was a choice and not a test that i was up against. and then thinking about it again later, i realized that i had no right to be so defensive, of course she could have no idea of how emotionally charged the assessment has become for me. and, following that, was the realization that i really don’t need to be so emotional about it.

i am coming to a kind of peace about the assessment. i am actually looking forward to it, and not just nervous about it. excited, wow.

after class 6/17/08

so this is it. no more “real” class until july 11 for me, since july 4, our first day of class, is a holiday and the studio is closed. maybe i’ll see if i can switch into an earlier class for a makeup. i believe that the newfound freedom and release i’ve been experiencing during dance is a change, a breakthrough. i would hate to be proven wrong.

three weeks and three days till class, then. and three weeks and four days till assessment.

i have to be very good about S at home. i don’t want to be weak. i want to be strong and confident.

so tonight i did a makeup with lucy. i haven’t taken class with her for seven months. since L4, when i did a makeup with her. i had to revisit “dancing” by elisa again. that song is just so haunting. there’s angst, fire,  pain, hope, angst, everything in that one song and it’s amazing to just ride the emotion and the lilting vocals. just so….cathartic. again… i just… let…. go.

it was funny that she knew where i had come from and saw where i was now. it was nice to be reminded of the growth…. like when you run into someone from way back and they say, “wow you look great!” or “wow your hair got so long” and all this incremental change that has occurred over months, is all of a sudden made apparent. you feel proud of yourself. it is a great compliment. she said my EC has grown. that made me so immensely happy.

when i sat down, another girl in the class leaned over and tapped my leg. she wanted to tell me that she thought my dance was beautiful. she said that she could not stop watching me. i almost cried but all i could say was “thank you.” she said it twice and all i could say was “thank you.” what expression of gratitude is enough?

tonight i tried the body spiral/helicopter combo with lucy. i thought that maybe she could shed new light on it. this nemesis trick of mine. i hadn’t visited it since L6.1, maybe even 5? when i got so frustrated. and i realized tonight, after getting it, finally: i just wasn’t leaning back. i was so focused on looking, on being able to SEE what was going on, that i didn’t realize that by keeping my head up, i wasn’t letting my pelvis come up. how metaphorical is that?

it wasn’t pretty. but it felt amazing. it’s been a long time since a trick has eluded me for so long. i think that maybe this is the only trick i ahven’t been able to get with minimal effort. and it was all in my head, all this time. i was my biggest obstacle from success.

one of the girls that i used to take class with, in jill’s 6.1, was in the makeup as well. she mentioned to another girl today that she is applying for TT. i overheard her and wished i hadn’t. the rest of the class, when i had finished dancing and she was rotating through, i watched her and wondered: is she better? stronger? is her dance better? but i have no idea. i haven’t seen my dance, truly, for months. i just know how it FEELS.

i want for this all to just HAPPEN already. i hope that afterwards i can deal with the rejection. i think i have done a good job of trying to prepare myself. am i obsessing? of course i am. this is a big deal. to me.

the pants make such a difference. i’m still trying to understand why. all this positivity– i’m still trying to udnerstand. my fear is that it will go away. how do i S at home and keep that magic? is that why i don’t? because i’m scared of losing it?

i’m so glad i boycotted the mermaid for this makeup.

biting the hand that feeds me

so thinking again about teachers, am i just too critical?

i mean, count up how many different teachers i’ve taken class with at one point or another. maggie, ellen, jill, lucy, tina, ro, sam, marissa, mai, alex, christina.

even the teachers that i love, i find issue with. maybe in addition to being more accepting of other women in general, i need to extend that same grace to the teachers. they are only human themselves– just because they are teachers does not mean that they aren’t allowed to have flaws. and who am i to judge when i don’t have any idea how difficult it would be to go through TT and to teach?

three weeks until assessment. i am so nervous and so hopeful. i believe that things will work out for the best, in the end, but that doesn’t mean that i won’t be disappointed if i don’t make it.

more on the mermaid assignment…

i think i have gotten more clarity on what my real complaint is here…

i think some assignments are good for some people and not for others. our journeys are all so personal to us, and our growth is so individual, that for everyone to get the same assignment at the same time– well, clearly that is not effective for everyone across the board.

i think part of my frustration is that this journey, ultimately, is MINE. i know that teachers just want what is best for us. but sometimes you have to be able to do what you feel you need to, and a teacher should support you in that decision.

i am paying $30 an hour to have someone else tell me i have to tie my legs together? i know i am supposed to trust my teacher. but if i’m doing a makeup and the teacher has never met me before? never seen me dance?

i know that when i make up with lucy next week she will understand that i do not want to repeat it.

after class 6/12/08

week 8:

did a makeup in class with yet another forum girl who i’ve been emailing for a couple weeks now. had never taken class with the teacher before (sam) but had heard a lot of good things about her. she had a much more casual feel about her– i got the impression that she was friends with many of the girls outside of class. there was an equality between the teacher and students that i haven’t seen before. it was a very different vibe than ro’s class or alex’s class for example– where the teacher is just revered.

she is very protective of her students. this week was jack knife– and she didn’t even want anyone to try it. during pole time, she asked me to do descending angel. i did a heli/descending combo. most of the other girls were struggling with heli- jumping into it or not being able to straighten their legs. the next time i saw her at the pole, she had me do a climb and flip into polecat. i dont think anyone else in her class was at that point in their pole work. it was strange and i didn’t feel challenged or inspired by any of the pole work i saw around me.

i am going to try to go more outside of S in practicing inversions. i think i need more of a challenge in that department. for spinny tricks i need to work more on opposite side so that left is just as fluid and emotive as right-handed tricks.

this week the assignment was mermaid. the teacher tied up our legs at our knees and ankles with a stretchy chiffon. i had picked a song that was round, circular, organic, sultry, and i couldn’t move to it at all in the way that i wanted to. i wasn’t in my head, but i was very conscious of feeling frustrated, wanting to get up, wanting to stand and do huge hip circles and feel the wall.

the saving grace of class for me tonight was being able to dance, unfettered, to other people’s music. one girl brought in a song that i’ve always thought about dancing to- elisa (dancing) and just never brought in myself. and something happened during that song. it felt expansive. there was an emotion there that i connected to and rode all the way through but i can’t even explain what it was or what i felt. i know that i started crying but didn’t know why– it may have been joy in the expression itself. there was one point where i did a spinning snake, and then as i came down i had one leg on the pole and spun myself on the floor into something else, a fluid transition that i had never done or tried and it just flowed.

that was me, arriving.

i want to try the song again, during MY dance, but i’m afraid of cheapening it by doing it twice. something changes in the honesty of the reaction. or maybe that’s just something that i’ve put into my own head. because some of my best dances (at the time) were to songs that i just connected with and loved. lovesong. perfect lie. maybe i will try it next week during lucy’s class when i do a makeup. that song encourages what… a naivety? a lack of agenda?

i expressed my frustration to becky, the forum girl, and she said something interesting in an email: “its tough, but theres a reason for the assignments, and i just trust the teachers and the movement and remember that its all a journey.” have i been that closed off? closed minded? i had been seeing mermaid as a stumbling block, frustration, annoyance. i knew that it was useful in encouraging new movement, a new way of relating to music– giving yourself permission to JUST LIE THERE… but i was upset that i couldn’t do what my body wanted to do. but does this go somewhere? does it lead to some kind of growth somehow, beyond what i’m seeing? maybe.

during the other dances tonight i wore a pair of long sleeved terry sweats that slid all over the floor and hid my feet when i stood up. it made me feel encased and protected. the flow of the fabric gave me a feeling of lightness.

something inside me has definitely given way. a brick, a wall, somewhere, is gone, and something new is coming out. i am finding a joy in this movement that i didn’t think possible. i am not looking forward to the dip that will follow this peak, but at the same time, look how much i have already grown. i hope that i am ready for it.

after class 6/9/08

i did a makeup in alex’s monday class (although she was out re-couping from an operation) with a couple of the forum girls. we went out to dinner before and i had a lovely shower right before class (it was 98 degrees outside)- something i will be doing again for sure! having super clean skin added a layer of sensuality to the warmup experience. i didn’t once run my hand across any part of my body and think: “yuck. sticky/oily/greasy/bleck.” unfortunately that usually happens since i am running to class after a day at work.

this was their week 6 (because of the funky way that weeks start on a wednesday) and fortunately NOT pole week!

i picked etta james– “i’d rather go blind” for my song. it was fantastic. her voice is so earthy, throaty. i find myself returning to the feminine in my music and my movement. standing hip circles against the wall, slow slow cat pounces. i don’t remember most of my dance now that i try but i know it felt like deep red velvet in a smoky room. it was one of my best dances in a long time.

i was wearing my new red lacy boyshorts, which are so light and silky on my skin that i feel nothing at all. black front-tie negligee that flies open when i roll from back to belly, that falls open to let me feel the pole against my stomach, that i can reach down and play with. and heels! for the first time in a long time. and it changed my movement. made me more… what? womanly? more conscious of the way that my hips are thrown out when i shift my weight? yes.

my EC lives in my ass. yes, that is her home, her temple, her weapon.

i felt totally uninhibited in that class. again– having supportive, awesome, enthusiastic women in the audience makes such a huge difference.

i am doing a makeup with another forum girl tomorrow. i hope it is as much fun as monday was!

week 7: 6/3/08…. post-class

danced to homme (naked mix)- brazilian girls.

i’ve actually stalled twice when i went to write this. i had the “new entry” window open, ready to type, but not sure what i want to say or how much. it’s hard because when i voice the negativity, it makes me less enthusiastic about writing the entry in the first place. i end up procrastinating. and i want this experience– the writing and the looking back on the past– to be one that encourages growth. so.

my dance yesterday was frustrating. i felt like i was holding something back. i’ve felt that way all session. something is not letting me be truly emotional or truly honest. i dont know what, or why. i am trying to push it a little more. and i think that tina was right that i am not in an angry, frustrated place right now and that kind of angsty music is just not working for me. this is much more my current speed- languid, bluesy, sultry. i think this may be the heart of who my EC has become, under the negative and black feelings that sometimes cloud her character.

i honestly feel that this reservation is due, in some part, to not feeling that the class i’m in is a safe place to let go of that. i dont know that people would understand how much it would mean for me. so while my movement has progressed this past session, emotionally i haven’t felt a change.

it is remarkable to me, absolutely astonishing, how much the synergy between the teacher and the class make up the good and bad of the studio experience. when a class has a connection, when the women feel genuine liking for one another and encourage and support one another, it is like an entirely different sfactor. it is the best that S can be. it is WHY women are excited about this movement, about being empowered, about possessing the feminine spirit and channeling it into a dance. that studio becomes a temple, a gift, an offering, to the divine.

and then, when the class is full of individuals there for themselves, who have no interests in helping others along on their own journeys, who have no desire to foster learning and growth in others, then it’s like: why am i paying $480 for this, again? why am i here when i could just turn off the lights at home and experience the same thing?

it seems that different teachers bring out different aspects of their students. in all of jill’s classes i noticed a giggly almost childlike exuberance. everyone was just happy to be there. so many of us made our class a refuge from the world outside. and it showed. those saturday classes, both mine and the one after, were havens, where we turned ourselves inside out and left it all on that softly polished wood floor. almost all of us cried at one point or another. we cheered for each other, saw the breakthroughs happening in front of us, saw the anger and hurt and pain and happiness being unleashed and sent into the air spinning around the poles.

but yet… that very safety that we found also encouraged a kind of stagnancy. as though– this is enough. this class is what we need it to be. and jill saw that, and did not push us outside of our comfort zones. she wanted us to do it for ourselves. and when the point came that a plateau was reached, and nothing was changing forwards or backwards… that was when the time came to move on. someone else, maybe, could help me to take the next step.

so i moved on. and found that in some classes, women didn’t chat with one another or catch up on each other’s weeks. in some classes, you can go a whole session without learning someone’s name. no one introduces themself to the new girl in class. and some teachers don’t see a problem with this.

yesterday i did a makeup in tina’s tuesday class. i struck up conversations with several different women but it seemed like when i asked a question, there was something discouraging me from trying harder. they didn’t seem to want to talk. another girl who was doing a makeup asked me: ‘oh, aren’t you in tina’s class on wednesdays with michelle?’ and i had to look at her blankly. is there a michelle in my class? is it my fault that i don’t know who she is? should i have tried more? and another part of me thinks: it’s easier for them to learn my name than for me to learn all of theirs. why weren’t they more welcoming?

having done makeups with ro and tina, it is striking to me how much their philosophies of S differ. it seems that, like religion or any other kind of doctrine, you can pick and choose what elements to hold dear to yourself. tina is always walking about exploring and pushing the movement. she is telling us: slow down! feel that stretch! feel the weight in your arm! she tells us: feel air. feel fluid. feel heavy like earth. she has never once mentioned the EC concept. she never asks us: how is your creature feeling today? the girls in her class who are exquisite with the movement: they are consistent. they explore and push their movement, but their dance feels the same week after week. i wonder if they are finding growth. if they are going past their comfort levels, their boundaries. they have found the ways that their bodies like to move and they seem to stay in that zone. is that bad? i dont know. is that having a true understanding of what your EC likes, and just expressing that? i dont know.

the girls in the class race in, when the door opens, to place their ipod in the slot that they want. the first ones fill up fast. they do not cheer for one another, they politely clap. it’s like when you are having a conversation and you feel like instead of listening and responding, the other person is just waiting for their turn to talk. when their dance is over, they very quietly gather up their things and tiptoe out with excuses, sorries, very kindly but at the same time you are left there, one of the few who didn’t run to go in the first couple slots.

and then your turn to dance comes, at the end, and half the class is gone. you finish and tina is there with a couple words of comment, while others stand and wait for her to start the next song. she whispers in your ear, and no one else listens, no one else discusses your dance with you. you sit and still you are in a little bubble of solitude. no one approaches you, no one leans over and says, “that part where you were on the wall, it was so beautiful.” you feel like no one really cares. you realize that you are here for yourself, on your own journey, and every step is going to need to be made by you. no one here will stand and hold you up or take your hand and pull you forward.

ro, on the other hand, says in the warmup: give your body what she wants. she says: how did your creature like that dance? where did she want to go? she asks us to describe what is going on with our EC. the girls in her class talk about how their daily life, the happenings of that day, affected their dance, the expression of their EC. they talk about needing to know who she is in order to have a genuine connection with the movement. for them, the discovery of the EC is not an option or a choice. it is necessity. it is their priority.

one girl in ro’s class had a dance that was black vinyl and boots. it was aggressive walking, owning the floor, even as she stumbled and staggered. it was climbing the pole and just shaking it, as though an inner scream was just coming out and spilling over. and then the next time i saw her, it was languid rolling on the floor, so fluid and so connected, so effortless, toe pointing leg leaning momentum shifting to follow that foot to a roll onto the belly. she took up all the space in the back and owned it all, but in such a different way than the boot dance that i almost would not have known it was the same girl.

and there is such a different environment here too. these women, they email each other every day. they trade ideas, events, thoughts, concerns, life stories. they know each other. they have dinner after class. they have embraced each other with warm, open arms. “i saw you do this, and your EC was just screaming” they tell each other. they can assess one another. they can give each other constructive criticism: “you shouldn’t wear gloves. it seemed the whole time like you were fighting with wanting to feel the pole.” they force each other to grow. you cannot have pride or false modesty. you cannot be a diva or a princess. you will be torn down and built back up by ro and the girls, whether you want it or not.

one is not better than the other. i am not trying to judge. as long as a person is happy and growing in the environment she has chosen for herself– what fault can i find with that? or, maybe they don’t want to grow. maybe they are happy exactly where they are. S occupies a little slot in their life and it is compartmentalized. but i dont want that for myself. and over and over i find myself frustrated this session because the surroundings i think i need, is the opposite of where i am now. i am looking forward to next session.

am i putting too much pressure on? maybe i am. maybe my expectations of ro’s class have spiraled into something impossible. but i am still hopeful that somehow, i will find the place i need to be.

soulstice week 6: 5/28/08

this week: jr hs music.

so this week tina had us split into groups and we had to pick a song for the whole group to dance to. i was/am sick, on tons of antitussants and sore throat medicine and pretty woozy. i thought exercising would help me feel better but it made me feel worse. i almost blacked out doing a firefly. by the time dance had rolled around i was cranky and feeling weak and frustrated with how little i felt good about doing.

i was in the bathroom so when i came back my trio had already picked a song– kriss kross, jump jump.

i said: “i’m sorry guys, im really sick and kind of feeling crappy. can we pick a song that isn’t so high energy?”

…and then got a lecture on how you don’t go with the beat, even if it’s a fast song, you can still dance slow.

i KNOW THAT, thanks. i don’t need you to “teach” me on how to dance, i just want to dance to a song that doesn’t annoy the shit out of me.

my EC hated it. the song was short so tina put my song on for a bit at the end… but by then i was in a crappy mood and just really crabby and bitchy. i feel like i wasted the class and a good song. i should have signed out. it’s just that i missed class last week… sigh.

i am really looking forward to class with ro. the lack of camaraderie in this class is really really getting old. it makes me wonder why it doesn’t seem to bother anyone else. no one seems to care about anyone else in the class. no one has conversations with each other. and people walk out on each other instead of staying and supporting each other’s dance. no one cheers.

officially learned the headstand/layout today. it came surprisingly easily in class since the poles were totally warmed up and my leg stuck for the layout. also the climb/snake is completely comfortable now. i think that i need to work more on climb/heli because i really ahven’t been doing trick work at all lately.

other tricks i want to work on… list to be added to!

• snake/butterfly
• flying body spiral into RDJ
• layout without foot hook
• plow over with one leg up